Speaking of Love...

Overwhelmed with boredom, I once again scroll through my Snapchat feed, once I've watched all the stories to completion (shameless plug: add me on Snapchat @ kalli_jacobz) I am still unsatisfied. I attempt to lessen the exhaustion and loneliness that accompanies my boredom by scrolling through the 'Discover' tab on Snapchat when I come across an article that sparked my interest. The article I stumbled upon was called 'Are YOU dating The One? Relationship coach reveals the 11 signs that prove you've met your soulmate' which was the ultimate click bait that I totally fell for. Next thing I know I'm researching what identifies a soulmate, how long it takes to find your soulmate, and past stories of people meeting their soulmates. Only the sappiest tear-jerking stories. I was fascinated by what I found on the deep web, all of these stories of happily ever after and I began to fantasize about the one day my prince will come.


The article contained some pretty interesting points from this so-called 'love expert' Nicolas Aujula but most of the points he made, were very witty and incentive, some that I have never heard/thought of before. He noted that the true indicators of your soulmate are:

1. An inner knowing- I have found that I believe in love at first sight or a special intuition that allows you to just know when that person is THE ONE. There is no real stopwatch dictating how long it takes until you are definitely in love with each other. If you know that that person is right for you and you have the same interests and values, there is no other way around it or any algorithms to calculate the exact moment, just follow your heart.
2. Mutual respect- I completely agree with Mr. Love Expert on this one. It is never necessary to want to change another person, it is bad enough to judge them and point them out but in any relationship do not, under any circumstances, try to change them. It is best to just accept their flaws and to love them for what makes them who they are and potentially the person that you could fall in love with.
3. Being on the same page when it matters- In my opinion, it is good to have a fight every once in a while, to keep the relationship healthy but it is essential to come to the same conclusion. A solution to a serious fight is to either accept when either one of you is at fault or to come to a mutual agreement when it matters most.
4. Support and care for each other- I can completely relate to this one because of the emotional roller coasters I've been on in my past relationships but that's a story for a different time (Sorry Scales). It is best to acknowledge that everyone has a past and respect they can go through some tough times while with you so just supply them with what they need (most likely space) then maybe you'll get rewarded in the future.
5. Best friends forever- This one is a bit on the obvious side considering that everyone should find a best friend in any of their significant others. They are your backbone while they are with you, they are someone that you can confide but also has the ability to give you butterflies.
6. A shared vision for the future- I don't so much agree with this one because I kind of believe all of that mumbo jumbo about opposites attract, I mean don't get me wrong, I believe that it could help the relationship if you have similar interests but I don't think it's necessary. I've seen happy couples argue all the time about their future i.e. how many kids they are going to have, if they are going to buy a house, etc. but it all works out in the end because the future is inevitable especially for soulmates that are destined to be together.
7. You challenge each other- This point goes hand in hand with point #3, a fight is good every once in a while to one another out of your comfort zones and to pull you closer.
8. Sex is mind blowing (sorry Scales)- I don't think I need to elaborate on this one, but I can assume that it is also true.
9.  Both fight for the relationship- This point is just like point #4, celebrate when it is time to celebrate, be a shoulder to cry on through the rough times, and be present through every emotional curve ball in the relationship. If you are truly with your life partner you will know that even though there have been many bumps in the road you have been able to push through those obstacles together and it has only made you closer.
10. You feel comfortable- Refer to point #5, being able to be completely open and honest with someone when they feel the same way is the best feeling in the world. You feel so secure in your relationship but you are still able to open up and be vulnerable without ridicule.
11.  You can spend time apart- What I gathered from this point is that both people in the relationship deserve space to grow and either side needs to reciprocate that mutualisation and trust that they will be faithful during their time apart.

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, a soulmate is defined as 'a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament or a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs'. I honestly don't know what I believe about soulmates, true love, or any of that other cringy mushy stuff. My view will constantly change when it comes to presumptions about the unknown. As of right now, I believe in the love at first sight that the Disney princesses prophesied, I believe that one person can have multiple life partners or soulmates (according to the criteria above), and I believe love is a random occurrence that only some are fortunate enough to experience during their lifetime. I am no love expert and I would appreciate some feedback if I'm completely wrong.